The Catacombs

          I asked many of Western’s most respected and knowledgeable teachers about the tunnels or catacombs of Western High School. Many of our fine teachers have more than 15+ years experience at Western High School and only now have they felt comfortable speaking to the general public about these mysterious catacombs below our very feet. Here are their stories.

         The first teacher I interviewed was James Rissi. Mr. Rissi has worked here for 15 years and has finally come out to talk to the public about his experiences with our catacombs. When asked about what he thinks is down in the catacombs he expressed that there were dog sized spiders and there were millions of them down there. He added that the tunnels are mile and miles in length. This quote from Mr. Rissi explains how massive these catacombs could be: “The catacombs go on for hundreds of miles and that one of them could go all the way to Lake Michigan and end up in Iowa.” Mr. Rissi also speculates that the catacombs could be filled with these dog-sized spiders.

         Another teacher I interviewed was Steven Kim. Mr. Kim has worked at our fine school for 11years, 94 days, and 22 minutes (not that he’s counting), and he also believes that there could be dog sized spiders, however, he feels they are much bigger than what Mr. Rissi suggests. Mr. Kim believes that the spiders could be the same size as the spiders in Harry Potter. But unlike Mr. Rissi, Mr. Kim has been in the catacombs but he was blindfolded. He explained to me that, “It was like a teacher ritual, like a fraternity club initiation or fight club.” Kim also believes that there are unruly students that disappeared and were never heard from again. Kim speculated that there may be elementary students down there who wandered off during the carnivals the school used to do back in the day. Kim also added that not only is there a pool that Mr. Sponsler tends to during his 8th hour but there’s also a slip in slide and cotton candy machine.

          Finally the last two respected staff members I interviewed this week were Mr. Ford and Mr. Huntley. Mr. Ford spent little time in reaffirming how truly frightening our catacombs maybe with his chilling interview. He explained that sometimes late at night when everyone has left he would sometimes still be here grading papers he could hear children’s voices. Some laughing and some crying but what’s perhaps more frightening is he told us, “I could sometimes hear a faint growling like a feral dog but also different at the same time. Once the growling was done you could only hear small screams of terror and chains rattling.” Mr. Ford also believes that the children kept down there are chained together to prevent escape and also suspects that some of the spiders might be the size of small ponies. Mr. Ford and Mr. Huntley both said they have never sent a student into the catacombs, however, a quote from Mr. Huntley leads us to believe otherwise: “I’ve never sent a student down but Mr. Messer might have when a student touched him inappropriately.”

     In closing the catacombs of Western to this day remains and extremely interesting and mysterious topic around Western High School and might stay that way until the end of time. Will we ever find out what’s down there or will our imaginations be left to wonder? Find out more next week at The Western Hemisphere.